You know those cute little signs popping up in every craft store where you spend most of your husband's money? Once you buy the lettering and the paint and the wood to put it on, maybe next month you can almost afford the mortgage payment on the house you're decorating. Anyway, they're full of warm fuzzies so that other people think your home is cute and cozy and clean. I'm going to invent my own signs for my house. They will be a little more realistic, to reflect the Actual House with Real People that I live in.
1. All because two people forgot what labor feels like.
2. Children's teeth hold on to your arm for a moment but the bruises stay forever.
3. Grow old with me--by then the children will have left home.
4. Life is not measured by how many breaths you take but by how many peanut butter sandwiches you can make in less than a minute.
5. To have children is a gift. To have sanity is wonderful. To have both is nothing short of miraculous.
6. Enter our house as guests. Leave with orange juice stuck to your shoes, cereal in your clothes, and oatmeal in your hair.
7. We may not have it together. Most days, we're lucky if we have it clothed and diapered.
I was going to do ten of these, but my brain is on strike right now.
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