Silly financial tips

I suppose the people who read Money magazine are more likely to be well-off than the rest of us. But even they need to save money, which is why their cover story on ways to save money made me laugh. I'm always looking for ways to trim a few bucks, so it's a good thing Money knows how to get me to cut back.
For instance, I'll have to stop shelling out the big bucks for those monthly touch-ups at the upscale hair salons. Who knew you could do it yourself for just the cost of the bottle? And the lawn guy? It's a good thing they told me to do the mowing and weeding myself. I might never have thought of that. Who needs to go to Saks when you can get designer jeans online for hundreds less? Other nuggets of wisdom include brown bagging your lunch, cutting back on your cable package, and going to the library instead of the bookstore.
Please. I think it's insulting in an economy like this one, when people are cutting back on clothes, vacations, and groceries, to tell them to give up their Caribbean cruises.
They did have one tip, however, that we're already implementing: refinancing your home. We'll be saving more than a percentage point. That's a change I think we can live with.

Outdoor-deprived dilemma

I was talking to Kyle about how his babysitter is going to camp and he said, "Oh! Camp is from Toy Story!" So my kids don't get out much.

Mark and I have been talking a lot lately about vacations. We'd really like to go on one this year, but for the first time in a while, we are finally able to put some money in savings. When you hear scary stories about people losing their jobs, it really makes you want to sock some away.

But we have never been on a vacation, except for trips other people have paid for. Like the family reunion last year (thanks, Mark's uncles), or the trip to Canada when Liam was 2 (thanks, Nana). We don't even have a tent because we never had room for camping equipment in the condo and just haven't been able to shell out the big bucks for one since we moved here.

Aren't the family trips what create memories for kids? I'm not even talking about flying to Europe or Caribbean cruises. I'm just talking about different scenery--eating smores, going fishing, seeing the stars...

But it's hard to justify that when I think of how long it would take us to go bankrupt if Mark lost his job.

What do you think? Save the money for a rainy day or spend the rainy day stuck in a tent?

July bargain brag

I bought a new sweater and shirt this week. The total at the bottom of the receipt says $0.00. Then it says Total Saved: $68.00. I love that! I got a gift card in the mail, and I used it to buy items on the clearance rack. Hurray for the off season.

Here's to useless arts degrees

This weekend, I actually put my two university emphases to work. If you didn't already know, I studied music and French in school. A lady from France showed up at church, and didn't speak a lick of English. So I volunteered myself to translate for her, which was interesting considering I haven't spoken French for years and years. Sometimes I would blank on the stupidest words. I couldn't for the life of me remember the French word for small. I think it's in the dictionary somewhere close to stupid. (Don't tell me. I know the word for small is bête, OK?)
I also got to be in a flute choir concert. This is a very fun ensemble I get to be part of, with usually about twelve flute players, complete with piccolo, alto, and bass flute. I never thought I'd get to do that after I graduated, and so I feel really lucky.
So, I get to use both music and French in my post-university life. I'm assuming the paycheck for all my years of study is still in the mail.

Emergency!

Is anyone else tired of reading about how our financial woes are all our fault? We are trying to build up our savings for an emergency. We've been trying for the last several years. The problem is, our life is an emergency.
Here are some expenses we've had within the last year:
-new glasses to replace the ones that broke
-new computer to replace the one that broke
-car repair after minor accident
-body work after minor accident
-hospital and doctor bills from new baby
-sprinkler system repair
-furniture, baby gear, diapers, and clothing for new baby
Then there are the emergencies we're putting off dealing with:
-Mark's teeth
-moldy bathroom floor
-broken fridge
-broken window screens
Some of the time, I manage to appreciate that Mark has a job and that we're not further in debt. But when I read some article suggesting we could be so much more prosperous if only we disciplined ourselves to save more, I get really mad!

April Bargain Brag

I have to write about this, 'cause I'm really good. Today I got two pairs of kids' sandals, two kids' swim suits, a men's dress shirt, and a pair of jeans and a sweater for me. The grand total was under $47. Unfortunately, I put it on the credit card, but we won't talk about that.

Pay yourself first

"The world will in large measure pay you what it thinks you are worth, and your worth will increase as you gain education and proficiency in your chosen field." - Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

I'm going to take this quotation totally out of context and write about what he didn't say. If the world pays me what it thinks I'm worth, then if it doesn't pay me, it thinks I'm worthless. How's that for depressing? Mamas who stay at home don't get nuttin' (unless you count child tax credits). Not only do they not get paid, they don't have access to ordinary job benefits like health insurance, Social Security, retirement, vacation time/pay, etc. Most mothers couldn't afford to take care of their kids if they didn't have a husband bringing home the bacon and the benefits. So as long as hubby is employed, employable, and sticks around, mama does OK. These days that's less of a certainty.

So mommies don't get any kind of help. And SAHMs like me knew that going into it, so we weren't shocked when the paychecks with our names on it stopped coming.

What's hard for me is that people equate no income with no job. It's not like I spend a lot of time socializing and answering ,"So what do you do?" questions. It's just that I feel like my job doesn't exist. Like when I'm filling out some questionnaire or survey and they ask me employment status and my choices are full-time, part-time, or unemployed. Or when they ask me what field I work in and my choices are arts, technology, business and health care (how about "all of the above?)"

I recognize that my financial contributions help our family in less obvious ways. For example, we got some pretty sweet offers on our condo after I cleaned it up and patched the walls. We'd be spending thousands more on child care and groceries but for my excellent child-rearing and bargain-hunting skills. That's essentially the same as making money because both saving it and earning it put money in our pockets. But somehow saving money doesn't get the glory.

Unless some politicians make some major changes, mamas are still going to be poor and anonymous for the next little while. And most of the world won't care. So apart from trying to change the world, the other responsibility of mamas is to find our own sense of self-worth. Because if we're counting on the world to tell us we matter (in the only currency it communicates with), we'll be waiting a long time.

Budgeting for the real world

Nobody make fun of these ideas. I've been openly mocking budgeting ideas I've heard from real people, web sites, and books, so please don't laugh because nothing is more bitter than tasting my own medicine.

Here are some things I do to save money. Most of my lovely readers probably know more than I do about saving, but I thought I'd share some tips just in case. Feel free to comment and add your own tips, 'cause I'm always looking for ideas.

Food. I'm not as zealous about saving money on groceries as some people are. I like to eat. And I admit, I shop hungry and buy unnecessary snacks (except for ice cream, which is vital as one of the major food groups and also gives me fruit and dairy) because I schedule grocery trips around the kids and not my tummy. I'm also not a big coupon clipper. Often the coupons are for prepackaged stuff I won't eat, and often the store brand is cheaper than the name-brand coupon price. I just try to plan meals from whatever's on sale at the stores. I buy the huge bargains in large quantities when I can. That's just common sense, I suppose. I was really excited, though, last week when I got name-brand toothpaste for 50 cents by combining a grocery store sale with a coupon. Also, I make my own syrup and pizza crusts (but not my own pasta like my neighbor).

Cleaning. You don't need to buy all the silly commercial cleaners. They (see? Procter and Gamble really is satanic) tell you that you need one chemical for the toilet, one for the sink, one for the shower, one for the floor, one for the mirror... and that's just the bathroom! If you have some baking soda and some vinegar, you can clean just about anything. Check out http://www.doityourself.com/stry/vinegarbakingsoda, and there are plenty more web sites, too. It's easier on the budget, and it's better for the environment, and it's safer for kids and pets.

Decorating. I've been really surprised by what I find at dollar stores, thrift stores, secondhand stores, and yard sales. I've also learned that if you can't find a color you like, you can paint it (or dye it). Acrylic paint is very cheap. I think I've painted five of the picture frames in our house. One of them came with a scripture mounted on a burgundy and forest green layered picture mat. I threw it away, so there's my confession for the week. I threw a scripture in the garbage. Right size, right price, wrong color.

Saving. Besides paying yourself first (or, if you're more ambitious than me, automatically), one of the easiest ways to save money is to get an online savings account. Our interest rate is now about six times higher than it used to be.

Taxes. If you get a tax refund, you're giving the government an interest-free loan, which means you're losing money after inflation. I know some people like to get a big refund so they can save it, which is better than not saving at all, but there's a price for that. Take the maximum number of exemptions you can.

Silly little tricks. I've read about people who round their account balances down (or round their purchases up) so they have more money in their accounts than they think they do. They then spend less. Every year or so, they save the excess. Mark gets $5 for his travel budget whenever he exercises. $5 here and there doesn't seem like much at all, but it adds up over time.

Laughing yet? This is harder than it seems. I think it takes some skills to find bargains and to know which purchases can be postponed (and which cannot). I hope everyone will comment so I can get new ideas!

Going too far

I've blogged about some budgeting ideas that make me laugh because they assume someone who wants to spend less money is already spending way too much. Now here are some budgeting ideas that make me laugh because, well, you've gotta have a life. There are some depths to which I will not sink in order to save money.

1. Reusing sandwich/freezer bags.

2. Flushing the toilet less often.

3. Sharing lawnmowers with neighbors.

4. Sharing hygiene items with family members.

5. Disconnecting the internet.

Reality check:

1. Unless we have to live through another Depression and the alternative is starvation, I'm not washing out plastic bags for reuse. I may be miserly, but I can also think of a million other things I'd rather do with my time than save a few cents by rinsing sandwich bags. Sometimes saving time is as important as saving money.

2. Gross. I don't care how much water it uses to flush. Toilets are supposed to be flushed. That's what they're made to do.

3. Sure, it costs a couple hundred bucks to buy a lawnmower. But we have enough trouble finding time in the summer to mow our lawn as it is without waiting in line for our turn.

4. Sorry, honey, Irish Spring just isn't my thing. Ladies' deodorant may be more expensive, but I refuse to go anywhere in public smelling like a man. And if I find you using my pink razors on your face, my hairy legs will kick your butt.

5. Are you kidding? Why not just send me off to live in a cave in the mountains with the children and not let me come back to civilization for 20 years?

Pay the piper

Yesterday, I called the music store and found out that the piccolo I'd been renting and playing for years is now paid off. It's not my dream piccolo, but it is now officially mine. It's strange that I never learned to play it while I was in school, but then after I graduated, I ended up finding all kinds of uses for it in community musical groups.

Also, I discovered why music stores have earplugs. If you want to practice Stars and Stripes Forever enough to play it well and still hear your family talking to you the next day, you need to buy a set of earplugs. And you need a set for each of your family members so they will want to talk to you the next day.

So now I have $35 extra a month to spend on whatever I choose. Mark has a hobby budget allocated to him every month, and I'm tempted to do the same, but there's another little necessity I'm contemplating.

It's called earthquake insurance. It would probably cost close to the same as my piccolo payment, and let's face it, what good are cute little crafts and hobbies for my house if my house is not standing (and not paid for)? We live on an earthquake-prone area, and I know earthquakes are not included in our current insurance policy. It's just sensible. If you live in Mississippi, you should get flood insurance. If you live in Tennessee, you should get tornado insurance. If you have on a fault line, you should get earthquake insurance. And if you live in California, you should get all three.

My plans, if I'm self-disciplined enough to follow through, are to add the earthquake rider to our insurance policy, go through the house taking pictures of everything, and then store the pictures online so the pictures don't get destroyed with the house. After all, the tectonic plates could cause the earth to shake any time now. So could the sound waves from my piccolo. Maybe the planet needs a set of earplugs, too.

Economic stimulus

It looks like Bush's economy-saving idea will pass, and that most families will receive a wad of money from the federal government. This is supposed to revitalize the economy because we will spend, spend, spend it on stuff. This spending will give millions of dollars to business, which will, in turn, encourage businesses to hire people, thus giving them more money to spend, etc., etc.

I have already imagined several ways to spend this money. I could put it into savings. I could make an extra car payment (or a few), or an extra mortgage payment. Buy a flat-screen TV I will not. Sorry, President Bush (and those who signed this law with you), I do not plan to hit the mall when the check lands in my mailbox.

Right now, my husband and I have a little money saved. That's a huge improvement on the rest of the American population. Still, I don't feel that it's enough. If one of us were to fall catastophically ill, for instance, or if Mark were to lose his job, or if our car died and we needed to buy a new one, we'd be in big trouble.

And, unlike the government, we can't just borrow money from China if we decide that we need it. We choose not to keep a budget the way the government does--we like the idea of a household surplus.

So, President Bush, I'm sorry if putting the money in a savings account or paying for purchases already made doesn't fit with your idea of stimulating the domestic economy. We'll stimulate our real domestic economy first.

You call that budgeting?

I get really annoyed sometimes with budgeting articles whose best money-saving tips are "Get rid of your maid service" and "Stop buying Starbucks coffee on your way to work".

Before I rant, I will admit that I'm very blessed. We have a house, and some truly poor folks might see our recent purchase of a second vehicle as a major indulgence. To me, however, (a mother with two children who does not relish the idea of pushing the huge double stroller through Main St.'s unshovelled winter sidewalks), some former luxuries are now necessities.

Having said that, purchasing said vehicle gives us a newfound sense of poverty. Our financial management strategy consists of figuring out which bills are due before the next paycheck and avoiding bouncing rubber checks off the bottom of our bank account. In other words, there's not much fat to trim.

So here are more budget-trimming ideas I commonly see and find truly amusing:

1. Cut off your landline. Since everyone in your family has his or her own cell phone, you could save about $50 a month and (poor you) have one less phone number to remember.

2. Eat out less. We know you're too lazy to cook dinner most of the time, but eating out at restaurants every night will seriously dent your cigarette fund. So stop it! Start buying groceries and make dinner at least twice a week.

3. Take cheap vacations. Your idea of a good time may be to fly first class all the way to your chalet in the Swiss Alps, but you can probably cut back and still have a good time. Fly coach. Have your wine brought to the refrigerator in your room.

4. Do your kids really need those designer clothes? Kiddie boutiques can be pricey. Rest assured, your snobby children will still have friends in Levi's. Just don't tell their mothers that you bought their outfits at the mall so you can have friends, too.

5. Get a cheaper cable package. We know your 500 + channels look great on your new 50-inch flat screen, but you can't watch all those channels at once. You can find a reasonable cable package with over 100 channels for much less.

Reality check.

1. We don't have any cell phones except for the one Mark uses for work, issued to him by his employer.

2. Eating out? What's that? Is that what people do when they go to Wendy's and get something from the dollar menu?

3. I remember we took a vacation to Canada once, about two years ago, when my generous mother paid for two of the plane tickets.

4. Consignment stores and department store clearance shelves are the new cool, baby.

5. Rabbit ears on top of in-laws' reject TV.