If the office was like motherhood

1. Your boss would ask you to do twenty-two things simultaneously, then yell at you for not completing item fourteen fast enough.

2. Your co-workers would meet by the smoking area on a regular basis to beat each other up. You would have to test your interpersonal skills by intervening (trying not to get your own nose broken in the process).

3. Your boss would staple his fingers, stub his toe on his office door, burn his hands on the lamination machine, and blame you.

4. During your lunch break, you would be expected to feed yourself, your boss, the secretary, and two coworkers a nutritious meal.

5. Your boss would come into your office, throw your files on the floor, get her lunch crumbs in your keyboard, and smudge her dirty fingers all over your computer screen. On purpose.