Saturday, February 14, 2009

Boy oh boy

I still haven't adjusted to the idea that I really have a girl. After having two boys, I honestly started to believe I wasn't capable of making any girls, like Henry VIII in reverse. Only I didn't decapitate my husband. It still seems very strange since I know a great deal now about how to raise boys. Girls are foreign territory. If you have boys, here are some tips from my boy-raising experience:

1. Liquid soap and shower gel are the way to go. Don't buy bar soap. Not now, not ever.

2. Get used to reading in the dark. If you have any floor or table lamps, it's best to get rid of them now before your boys break them in a million pieces.

3. Speed dial is a good thing. Use it for plumbers, your window replacement guy, and unsuspecting babysitters you will pay twice what your neighbors with girls will pay because the poor teenagers really don't know what they're getting themselves into.

4. Look in, on, and around the toilet before sitting down. Any questions?

5. Practice the phrases, "What? I can't hear you!" and "I'd better go RIGHT NOW!". They are all you will say to your family and friends on the phone for the next twenty years.

6. Notice that hole in your pocket? There's a corresponding one in your wallet. They seem to get wider every time you enter a toy store.

7. Just go ahead and cut a hole in your boys' pants when you bring them home from the store. Or better yet, buy them with pre-cut holes in the knees. Then patch them up. Right now. It will save time later.

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