Have you got an ABBA song running through your head yet? It's all part of my evil plan. Actually, it's part of Kyle's evil plan because he's the one who puts the song in my head all day long.
Potty training is taking a long time at our house. Kyle gets the peeing in the potty thing, most of the time. Pooping, though, not so much. He has a poopy accident almost every day. I can even tell when it's going to happen because sometime around 5:00, it gets very, very quiet. Then I find a little present waiting for me on the carpet, the kitchen floor, or outside. Just in case you were wondering, I prefer the kitchen floor. It's easiest to clean.
Oh, yeah. We are good at cleaning poop here. They didn't have any classes in Poop Cleaning at Mommy University, but they didn't have to. They knew we'd get more than enough real-world experience, so no books needed.
There are several different categories of poop accidents, ranked by cleaning method:
1. Wipe boy, soak clothes
2. Stain remover for boy, clothes, and carpet
3. Bath for boy, clothes, and sheets. Chisel for carpet.
4. Garbage for clothes and sheets. Hose for boy and carpet.
5. Seriously considering garbage for boy.
Unlike my blogging buddy Heather, I did not take a picture of the latest poopy accident. I wanted to block it out of my memory. Here's how it went down:
I was lying in bed, when at about midnight, Mark announced that something was very stinky and requested help. Here are the places we found poop: Kyle's bum, thighs, calves, feet, waist, elbows, arms, hair, ears, sheets, clothes, and crib. I took the boy out and threw him in the bathtub. Since the showerhead had little or no effect, I thought about a new cleaning method, the chisel for boy option, which until now has not been on the list. Eventually, I got him scrubbed and scraped and shampooed off. Mark attacked the crib with bleach. We decided to throw the clothes and sheets and blankets outside, to be hosed down sometime after daylight.
So today, I didn't get any of the laundry or dishes done. I was too busy attacking a Thomas the Tank Engine blanket with a garden hose, baby screaming all the while. The silver lining in all this crap (ha!) is that Kyle didn't have a single accident today. Maybe he got everything out last night.