recent quotes from kiddos

L: Mom, I'm never going to get that toy. I wasn't built to be good for three days. I was only built to be good for two days.

K: (seeing a random pen mark on my shirt) Mom, we don't draw on people, we draw on paper. Remember that story?

Baby speaks

This clip is about two weeks old. I've already bragged about her first word, so now you can see proof.

Stress

Chalk this one up under "Things Nobody Warned Me About". Motherhood is stressful.
Who'da thunk it? I mean, don't mothers sit around all day in their housecoats and curlers watching soap operas? And since millions of women have done it for who knows how many years, it can't be that hard, can it?
Truth is, motherhood is more like taking a triple course load in a never-ending semester.
Let's discuss.
1. Money. Unless you finally managed to find a nursery that carries money trees, there is just never going to be enough. You can scrimp all you like, but your kids keep growing and eating and wanting toys. And they don't particularly appreciate it if you buy their shoes three sizes too big in order to economize.
2. Time. Another luxury triple-load college students hoard, judging by how little of it is left over for me. I'm not even talking about not having time for those cutesy little crafty hobbies those home-schooling mothers of eight seem to create out of thin air. I don't even have time to keep the house clean. I've been meaning to clean out the diaper pail for days, for example. And the dusting? There are some cabinets I haven't dusted since we moved in. When I actually have a moment to myself, the list of things to do is longer than the grocery check-out line. But usually going to the bathroom is first on the list. As I like to tell my kids, peeing is a priority.
3. Physical space. Sometimes, when I'm sitting at the computer, I move my elbows, just for the sheer joy of it.
4. Auditory space. When the kids are in bed and my ears stop ringing, I sometimes complete a whole thought in my head.
5. Oh, the pressure. Everybody thinks they know how to raise kids, especially magazine articles (5 simple ways to end temper tantrums) and people who don't have any. They also know how your house should look, how to produce the behavior you want, how to be a great wife, how not to lose your temper with your kids, how not to get them to turn out to be serial killers. So you feel like you don't measure up to the people who know better, even when "they" don't agree.
6. Oh, the frustration. How many times can you tell your child not to throw the toilet paper in the toilet until they get it? Why do you flap your lips up and down to suggest to your kid that telling you what's bothering him is far more productive than screaming? Why do you make dinner so that he can tell you how icky lasagna is and that you have to make him mac and cheese instead?
7. Oh, the built-up anger. See above. Then add kids whacking each other, bossing their parents around, pulling the cat's fur, biting you, and see how long you provide an example of productive ways to handle your emotions.
Then add cutesy little jokes from well-meaning clueless people about how little sleep or appreciation you get, how it's all worth it, how they wouldn't trade the time they spent at home with the kids for anything, etc. Really? That's too bad because if they want more of it, they can borrow a couple of my kids for a few hours.
Then take a deep breath (or a day off) and remind yourself that people who have actually survived parenthood say that it all passes, sooner than you'd think. Promise yourself that somehow you will live through it, too.

Happiness and sleep are synonyms

For the last couple of weeks, Baby has gone to bed before 9:00. Let me tell you, there is major rejoicing around here. The extra couple of hours in the evening has allowed me to reclaim some physical space and some brain space. When she didn't sleep until 10:30, things were not so happy. How do you keep small objects out of baby's mouth when you don't have time to pick them up off the floor? How do you set the table when you don't have time to do the dishes? How do you send off magazine queries when you can't type your own name?

Easy. You just convince your baby that everyone would be much better off if she went to sleep at the same time as the other children. She complies, and life gets much happier.

Mark and I clean up the clutter and do the dishes. Then there's still time to write a page or two in my novel, email a couple of queries, and still more time to waste on Facebook. Not that I've mastered the art of getting up before the kiddos like I thought I would when the late night baby parties ended. But I'm starting to feel like a person again. So now I just have to convince the dishes that everyone would be much happier if they would wash themselves.

Just because I'm used to rejection doesn't mean I like it

I know, I know, I'm doing very well to be writing and publishing lots of articles. But here's the irony in my life lately. If I really, really am excited about something I want to write, and I slave over the query until it's letter-perfect, then guess what? It comes right back to me. On the other hand, those queries I just throw out without very much forethought often result in assignments. Then I get surprised and then I realize that yes, I'm going to have to write this thing. And then, as I get into it, I find it's harder to write and requires much more brain space than I had planned to give it.
I don't mind writing the off-the-cuff stuff. I'm glad to be writing at all. I just hope that some time, my pet projects will get a voice in the world, too.