Outdoor-deprived dilemma

I was talking to Kyle about how his babysitter is going to camp and he said, "Oh! Camp is from Toy Story!" So my kids don't get out much.

Mark and I have been talking a lot lately about vacations. We'd really like to go on one this year, but for the first time in a while, we are finally able to put some money in savings. When you hear scary stories about people losing their jobs, it really makes you want to sock some away.

But we have never been on a vacation, except for trips other people have paid for. Like the family reunion last year (thanks, Mark's uncles), or the trip to Canada when Liam was 2 (thanks, Nana). We don't even have a tent because we never had room for camping equipment in the condo and just haven't been able to shell out the big bucks for one since we moved here.

Aren't the family trips what create memories for kids? I'm not even talking about flying to Europe or Caribbean cruises. I'm just talking about different scenery--eating smores, going fishing, seeing the stars...

But it's hard to justify that when I think of how long it would take us to go bankrupt if Mark lost his job.

What do you think? Save the money for a rainy day or spend the rainy day stuck in a tent?

Children are the best excuse

I used to say pregnancy was the best excuse for everything. You can beg off almost any errand or responsibility by saying you just don't feel up to it. But you know, having a few kiddos around makes it easy not to have to do stuff, too.

It didn't start out that way. At first, kids were the reason I couldn't do anything. And really, it's true. No, I can't help you move. I'm kinda busy scraping baby food off the walls and floor. But then I got so used to not being able to do anything that I forgot that I ever could.

Let's take conversation, for example. There was a time, in my pre-pregnancy days, when if I said something stupid or didn't say anything when I really should have, I didn't have anyone else to blame. Then kids came along and I couldn't get more than five words out of my mouth before I had to feed baby/change baby/break up fight/scrape kids off the walls and floor. I would just sigh (because sometimes I really wanted to hear what people were saying) and go take the knife away from the two-year-old fingers around it.

Most of the time, that's how it really is. I'm too busy with Heimlich prevention to comment on what other people are saying, or else my brain is too fried to think of something to say. Like if someone in my writing group has their book reappear on the bookstore shelf, multi-syllabic words like "congratulations" elude me.

Don't worry about it, I tell myself. It's just mommy brain. It will go away eventually.

But what if it doesn't?

Sometimes, let's face it, I do silly things. Eventually, all the kids will be in school and I'll have all the time in the world. Will I finally be able to write tons of articles and novels, or will I see clearly just how much I procrastinate? When the kids move out of the house, will it really be cleaner or will I see just how much of the mess is mine? When I don't have to worry about being home in time to put the kids in bed, will I have friends again or will I discover that my anti-social tendencies are just part of who I am?

So I guess my message to myself is to enjoy my life, and not to use my kids as an excuse to be a bum. Maybe I'll blog some more about that later. After I feed the baby.

July bargain brag

I bought a new sweater and shirt this week. The total at the bottom of the receipt says $0.00. Then it says Total Saved: $68.00. I love that! I got a gift card in the mail, and I used it to buy items on the clearance rack. Hurray for the off season.

Baby's first word

This week, Meredith made the sign for milk. I thought maybe it was just a fluke, but she did it again, and now she does it consistently whenever she wants to nurse. She looks up at me, grins, and opens and closes her fist. Who could refuse a cute request like that?

Also, I was really looking forward to that lovely phase in between when baby learns to sit and when baby learns to crawl. It's so lovely to leave a baby somewhere, and then the baby is still there when you come back. But Mer decided she wasn't going to waste time sitting around. She learned to crawl before she'd even mastered sitting. So now we have to break out the vacuum to eliminate all the little chokables even more often than before.

The "M" word

I was cashing a check the other day and the teller used the "M" word on me. That's right, she called me "Mrs."

I should have cashed in my youth card along with the check. I have been married for nearly eight years now. I have three kids, a minivan, and a mortgage. But still, I actually checked my reflection in the minivan window after I loaded the kids in. Were my laugh lines laughing at me more than usual today, to make the teller address me in such a matronly way?

Maybe it's because we live in the twenty-first century, when people are less formal and don't use their last names to address each other much anymore. Or maybe it's because the less familial status-charged title of Ms. has become more popular. Or maybe it's because I think of myself as "Kaylie" rather than "Mrs." Whatever the reason, it was jarring, to say the least.

"Mrs." is what they called my mother when I was growing up. Not me.

Besides, truth be told, secretly I'm not a thirtysomething mother of three. Oh, no, I'm actually a wild, independent college girl in my early twenties (masquerading as a woman with a couple of grey hairs hiding underneath the brown). That's honestly how I think of myself. And I probably will forever.

I remember a story my mom told me about my grandma. Grandma was in her late eighties, crossing the street. And a couple of construction workers called out, "Hey! Watch out for the little old lady crossing the street," and Grandma looked around to see who they were talking about.

She was probably still adjusting to being called "Mrs.", too.

6 month tasting party

Here's Meredith enjoying her food. We don't ever have to wonder if she likes a particular food or not.

Ow, my aching...everything

I've visited more than one doctor over the last couple months. But I think I'm done...for now. I've been having these weird body aches, like I'm getting the flu, but then it goes away and I feel fine again. Thankfully, my symptoms have improved lately (I think I'll cancel that appointment with the fibromyalgia specialist). I'm not sure what caused them or why I have only a downscaled version of them now. But I'll tell you this: I visited my chiropractor and he said, "Motherhood just messes your whole body up."

Amen to that. Aside from the damage children inflict by jumping, kicking, and otherwise abusing you, typical TLC can affect even the most athletic body. When I went to the chiropractor, he tried to adjust me, but he found this huge knot in my shoulder, so he decided to use electric stimulation on it. It felt great for a while (even my elbows were tingling), but less than a day later, I'd already undone the $40 I spent to see him.

Here are just a few typical motherhood tasks that make huge demands on a mama's body:
-nursing fifteen pound baby with disproportionately large head ten to twenty times a day
-picking up fifteen pound baby in fifteen pound car seat, heaving pair of them into van
-throwing thirty pound two year old in crib when he's having temper tantrum
-carrying heavy diaper bag on whatever shoulder happens to be free
-waking up every three hours in the night to feed baby
-listening to three children scream in your ear (stress)
-trying to chop vegetables while children demand to know when dinner is, if they can have a snack, if they can have friends over, and why you always make food they hate (triple stress)

After wasting my money at the chiropractor's, I decided it would be better to treat the cause of the problems by working on my posture. I found a youtube video with an Alexander technique exercise you can do at home.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iehtr8X3qMc&feature=PlayList&p=CB1850E7A1FE1ADA&index=0
I tried it and noticed an immediate improvement in my shoulder tension. Then I nursed the baby and guess what? Back came the arm tingles. Apparently baby has been cutting off my circulation at the elbow. But the girl does insist upon eating, so I guess I'll have to find another way to nurse her. And a mute button for the other children.

How to Shorten Your To-Do List

Larsen, Jo Ann. I'm a Day Late and a Dollar Short...and It's Okay! Shadow Mountain, 1991.

I bought this book a couple of years ago. I found it in a bargain bin, but it would have been worth it even if I'd paid full price (or double).

Here are just a few excellent sentences: "As you set priorities, delineate the amount of housework you'll do each day. As you know, there's never an end to housework--and for many women it's always there, intimidating, pushing, prodding, and indicting them. Because of this, you need to take charge of your time." (193)

"I can't anticipate or control the way other people make messes or move the pieces of my house. Nor is there always enough of me to go around. Nor can I always fix things or people the way I'd like. Nor should a clean house be entirely my responsibility--it should be our responsibility. Therefore I give myself the right not to have an ordere house in a disordered world. And the right to have other priorities besides my house." (188-9)

I think my favorite sentence is the last one. There are some people who could cook, clean, and do laundry all day and enjoy it (or so I hear). I'm not one of them. I don't want to spend my entire life taking care of my house. There is too much life to enjoy! So if you feel less than perfect because your house looks like people actually live there, take heart and read this book.