Thursday, April 1, 2010

How I know my house was designed by a man

I think women are way underrepresented in the house design business. Actually, I really don't know the numbers, and like a true writer, I'm way too lazy to do the research msyelf. But I know there aren't many female architects. Call it woman's intuition, or call it common sense. Here I present my case.



1. See this lovely laundry room? That would be the one that shares space with a bathroom. In the basement. When the bedrooms are upstairs. Unenlightened men do not appreciate how much fun it is to carry peed-on crib sheets down two flights of stairs in a big, huge laundry basket along with cute, heavy sheet-peeing baby who cannot be left unsupervised while Mama loads the washing machine. So then baby gets a ride in the laundry basket full of peed-on sheets so that even the clothes she is wearing become drenched in eau-de-baby-pee. Woman's idea? I don't think so.



2. See this lovely window? That would be the one right by the shower. You'd think even a male architect would be clever enough (no offense, Jason and Sara) to realize that showers are wet, and that when you place a window in the shower, water drips out the window, down the house, and onto the patio below. That it accumulates as mold in the frame. But I guess I can understand that a man wouldn't understand that a woman showering next to the window wouldn't want to show her boobs to the world. 'Cause he doesn't care if the world sees his manly chest. Not like the world hasn't seen my boobs when baby rips off my shirt 'cause she needs her mama juice right NOW, but a shower is supposed to be private, you know, a respite from all that child-crazy unprivate chaos. Of course the window is frosted so you can't see details. But please, we all know what's under those pixels at the Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. And I don't want my neighbors filling in the blanks with their imaginations. Especially if I decide to take a shower in the evening, when the house is all lit up from the inside. Who knows? Maybe those male architects have short wives, but those of us who are a little taller really don't want to show everything we've got.



3. See this lovely color scheme? Yeah, I know my house was built a few years ago, but I don't think a woman's taste would be bad enough even in the early 90's to put slate grey and dusty rose together in a bathroom.

7 comments:

Talli Roland said...

Hi Kaylie! Just hopped over from Christine's blog.

Maria Zannini said...

That would be funny if I didn't already feel your pain.

At least whenever we remodel, I tell the husband what I want and he builds it.

Jen said...

Oh my gosh this is hilarious!!! I never thought about it before but you are so right, woman would have made better decisions along the way, bigger laundry rooms, more space for closests always two sinks! Why hadn't I thought about that before!

Kasie West said...

LOL So true. So true. I often find design flaws in my house that no woman would ever have committed.

Tara said...

ha ha....so true, so true......

Erin Kuhns said...

LMAO! This post is TOO funny! Loved it! I had also never thought about those things before, but your angle is dead-on.

Atlantic Writer said...

My bathroom is straight out of the 80s but every time I even think about redecorating I find myself unable to even consider how to decorate around a bright turquoise bathtub!